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Monday, September 28, 2009


The bed and breakfast provided a late afternoon respite and solitude.

Nestled in the heart of Missouri wine country is an oasis of calm. The late afternoon warmth of the sun bathed the upper turret room and we settled in for an afternoon of reading and conversation ...both ...something we hadn't done for quite a while. Echoes of Simon and Garfunkel's "Dangling Conversation" hung in the air.

We were now empty nesters...a moniker that we didn't choose...but was inevitably thrust on us. After 18 years of focus on Zach...we now only had each other.

We tried to reconnect...to get to know each other again. "You could hear the ocean roar...lost in the dangling conversation...the borders of our lives". I never knew what that song meant until that afternoon in the turret room of the bed and breakfast.

As I look back on it now...if I had it to do over again...I would have stayed in a more populated environment until we made the adjustment. Any of us with children faces this day. We raise them up...only to let them go. Often letting them go changes the paradigm that we had become accustomed to. Once we become accustomed to re-adjusting relationships again...we realize that this is no more than the circle of life being played out and we were once on the other end...we were leaving the nest.

After the sense of loss diminishes, the next phase becomes the new focus. We get to watch from a distance the blossoming. This photo was taken 4 years ago...I think now is the time to re-visit the bed and breakfast. Wednesday is our anniversary.

Dan

17 comments:

Sunny said...

My son left the nest many years ago, and it was quite an adjustment. Then when I finally got adjusted...he came home again!Then he left again and we changed the locks! (Just kidding!)

Enjoy your anniversary :)

Cynthia L. H. said...

Yes. Time for a re-visit.
;^)
Happy Anniversary!
;^)

shabby girl said...

Your words put me right in that room listening to the ocean, cozy, but with not much to say.
I really liked what you said about the circle of life, and how we find ourselves on the other end. How many times that happens, almost on a daily basis.
Happy Anniversary! I think it will be a very different trip this time!

DawnTreader said...

Beautiful picture,Dan, and one of my favourite songs! (I did a blog post on that one back in mid August, don't know if you saw it: http://islandofvoices.blogspot.com/2009/08/dangling-conversations.html)

I wish you both a Very Happy Anniversary!!!

Simply Heather said...

Nicely said, Dan and I hope that you and Karen do revisit. May you both find something special on Wednesday, in one another...something fresh, yet secure :)

Blessings to you both.
Happy Anniversary.

Dan Felstead said...

SUNNY...How true! That seems to be the norm nowadays...they leave and then they come back! Thanks for the well wishes. We are actually going to celebrate our anniversary on October 16th weekend but 9/30 is the actual date.

Dan

Dan Felstead said...

Thanks Cynthia..what is Autumn looking like out there...any changes yet?

Dan

Dan Felstead said...

Shabbygirl...sounds like you have been there and done that! Thanks for the well wishes and we will be celebrating on the Oct 16th weekend at a bed and breakfast even though our anniversary is tomorrow.

Dan

Dan Felstead said...

Shabbygril...by the way...I need to get to your blog...I saw your hummingbird photos on my dashboard and they are gorgeous!

Dan

Dan Felstead said...

Thanks Dawn Treader a beautiful but very poignant song in my opinion.

Dan

Dan Felstead said...

Heather, thanks so much for the nice words. We will in fact be going to a bed and breakfast again...even though our anniversary is tomorrow...we will be celebrating it on the weekend of Oct 16th. Going back to the same bed and breakfast in Missouri for a festival that we always go to in the fall.

Dan

septembermom said...

That would be a nice place to re-visit! I hope you have a wonderful anniversary!!

De Lly Dilettante said...

Ooo I like the photo. It has that painted look. Great effect.

Dan Felstead said...

Thanks Septembermom...it will certainly be better than 4 years ago!

Dan

Dan Felstead said...

Lly...I added the watercolor look after remembering the words to Dangling Conversation.

Dan

Hazydaisy said...

It's four years since my youngest son moved out and as well as being the end of a life phase it also has been the beginning of a new period of freedom to explore all sorts of possibilities.
It hasn't been too hard for me as both our sons live fairly near and we see them very regularly.
So enjoy your anniversary,Dan-now you are two people again and not just parents.

Dan Felstead said...

Hazy Daisy...great advice and I will heed it!

Dan